Jennifer Hickey-Chief Mate (crew)

50 Things I Worry About
If we are defined as humans in part by the things we choose to worry over, let the following list be a window into the psyche of a Mate on a research vessel, and a portrait of a modern sailor in the style of Picasso.

1. 200 pounds of the Chinese space lab landing “safely out to sea.”
2. Hitting a whale, or a container full of rubber duckies bound for Walmart that’s fallen off a cargo ship and is floating a foot underwater.
3. Rust in dark places
4. Bedbugs, lice, dental problems and the flu
5. Fishing gear in the thrusters
6. Watching expensive science gear disappear under the bow
7. Running out of floss
8. Running out of bleach
9. Running out of hand lotion
10. Having enough good coffee, and the means to brew it
11. Becoming a hoarder (see #6 through #9)
12. How often will laundry need to be secured to keep science happy or make it through an in-port
13. UFO’s
14. Whether the Captain & Chief Scientist are getting enough sleep
15. Whether doing this job means I’m not normal
16. Whether I’ll be normal when I get home in 3 or 4 or 6 months
17. Whether my cat will remember me
18. Extra-Tropical storms that have no names and don’t make the CNN news feed
19. Covert stashes of fireworks
20. Ice that’s not in a glass or a cooler
21. Whether my podcasts were saved after downloading
22. Running backwards off the treadmill when the ship takes a roll
23. Wire angle and the inevitable wind shift
24. Stowaways
25. Unreported harassment
26. The Alien-esque eruption of my inner bitch
27. The last time that yoga mat was washed
28. Becoming complacent
29. Losing socks
30. Explaining binge-drinking and cigar-smoking to my physician
31. Using the right words when speaking on the radio
32. Blood on the gangway
33. Under-keel clearance
34. GPS spoofing
35. Safe working load
36. Clean pillows
37. Staying fit enough to be useful
38. Remembering how to do my job after giving it over to someone else for several months
39. People who shun science
40. Being shunned as an American in a foreign port
41. The combination of a drunken sailor, a small boat and the pilot ladder
42. Whether it’s possible to develop an allergy to blanket fuzz
43. Unexplained itchiness
44. Sudden, unexpected silence
45. Sudden, unexpected noise
46. Being late to watch
47. Barnacles on the draft marks
48. Balancing necessary ship’s maintenance with science activities
49. Losing the plant in a heavy following sea
50. How many Sharpies I can steal from the science party without notice

---